Got a new poem, what do you think? "Winter Blues"?

On Winter's night,


I laid there


alone


cuddled in my sheets,


my head, softly against the pillow,


watching snowflakes fall,


as winter's chill


slowly knocks at my window.





My mind drifted off


and I dreamed sweet dreams,


dreams thought to be unclear,


but now clearer than ever before,


and suddenly, I understood


life was not meant for being sad.





Suddenly realizing what hit me,


I rose from the comfort of my bed,


drying tears from my eyes,


walking towards my bedroom window.





And as I looked up,


there it was,


a star in the sky,


and as beautiful as it was,


I then realized


that my days would shine brighter


if only I'd learn to smile.

Got a new poem, what do you think? "Winter Blues"?
i think its prety good and the poem definatly advanced going towards the end. no hidden messege which is fun to find but still good all the same. very simple keep writing :) cant wait to see some more of your work. :)
Reply:Very good. True.


Try it with all verbs in the present tense.


This will make it stronger.
Reply:its very light, no intense emotional metaphors.


its a sweet poem but it doesn't really have a purpose.


and the diction could have been better.
Reply:Pretty good.. (:
Reply:More like pretty girly.