Friday, May 21, 2010

Is this a good beginning to my thesis statement on this poem?

First Love


I ne'er was struck before that hour


With love so sudden and so sweet.


Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower


And stole my heart away complete.





My face turned pale, a deadly pale.


My legs refused to walk away,


And when she looked what could I ail


My life and all seemed turned to clay.





And then my blood rushed to my face


And took my eyesight quite away.


The trees and bushes round the place


Seemed midnight at noonday.





I could not see a single thing,


Words from my eyes did start.


They spoke as chords do from the string,


And blood burnt round my heart.





Are flowers the winter's choice


Is love's bed always snow


She seemed to hear my silent voice


Not love appeals to know.





I never saw so sweet a face


As that I stood before.


My heart has left its dwelling place


And can return no more

Is this a good beginning to my thesis statement on this poem?
It is good, but here is a possible rewrite:


John Clare employs prevailing metaphors and hyperbole in his poem "First Love" to describe how a man feels when he is stunned by a woman’s beauty and how he instantly falls in love with her -
Reply:"prevailing metaphors"? i think this is needlessly wordy, and not really the correct usage of the term


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