Any comments on this poem?

MURDERED CHILD





In the darkness of winter


A girl dies in the snow,


No one to hear her,


Nowhere to go.


Who could she anger?


How terrible the hate


To come to deserve


This horrible fate?





Don’t you wonder?


Don’t you just cry?


Doesn’t your mind


Keep screaming “Why”?


Why are the jackals


Roaming the street?


Where in the darkness


Rage and innocence meet.





Until we learn better


Until we are sure


That no one can harm them,


The sweet and the pure,


We must all guard our children


Keep them safe from all harm;


Keep them in from the winter;


Keep them happy and warm.





I know it’s a pipe-dream.


I’m aware it’s not true


That we can keep them beside us


And away from the few


Who would hunger to hurt them,


From those who would slay.


From our hearts and our doorsteps


They would steal them away.





Yes, a poor child lies dying;


How sad is her fate


This image of anger


This image of hate.


We must all stand together,


Fight ‘til they know


We will let no more children


Die in the snow.


©

Any comments on this poem?
I love it.
Reply:makes me think of the troubles of society what we all should b doing 4 our children and what a lot of others don't
Reply:very well writted, very sad but very good
Reply:You have 8 line stanzas, but the meter is pretty uneven.


I like the dark imagery, the angst of a young soul.





Either stay structured completely or go freeverse.





Good message. One of hope.
Reply:wow, ur poem made me sad. u really know how to write poetry!!!!!!
Reply:It has a good cadence, but I think all the rhyme takes away from the seriousness of the subject.
Reply:SuzyQ, your poem made me cry as it is a metaphor for something very personal to me. Thank you for sharing this with us. ((((SuzyQ))))
Reply:Lovely.


The dark imagery didn't occlude the message you want to convey.


Thanks for reminding me of my duties.


God bless you.
Reply::O seriously one of the best poems i have read on Yahoo answers, brilliantly written it read well simple idea of innocence but hate GREAT :)
Reply:applause*
Reply:WOW!





that is so touching. It is one of the areas of suffering in this world i most struggle with and am often found pouring out my heart to God about our children!





Thank you for posting!
Reply:How tragic that senseless crimes like this inspire beautiful poetry. I love the poem, am just sorry it had to be written.
Reply:That was really good! You really know how to express your feelings!!!!


I loved it! Thanks for sharing! lol