LOVE SONNET.....Do You Like It?

I have a nest, one sweet and little nest--


Not in the verdurous meads of mantling bloom;


Not in a sky lark's melodious breast;


Or in a bower thatched in winter's gloom.


Nor at the mighty hills of Parnassus,


Where all my sick and flimsy fancies stray;


Or at Apollo's gilded expanses,


Where numbness hold my senses from a lay;


Nor at the spangling boughs of laurel green,


Where glory weaves for me no diadem;


Or at these verses barren of a keen


And lasting luster of a time's gem:


I have my nest but in my sweet Love's heart,


Where love with love all merriments impart.





written by an unknown.....

LOVE SONNET.....Do You Like It?
Kay so. I like the sonnet.


ha. That's all I want to say about


it.





I wanted to ask you to read and answer


my writing peice. It's under my questions.


I really liked your answer to my poem, and


I'd like more criticism. If that's all right with


you? ;]
Reply:I liked the criticism of Diamond Dude and Oldbob very much...welcome both...and it is often adverse criticisms that make a man bend the right way...Thank you... Report It

Reply:Too many space-filling adjectives;


cherché and stuffy.


Otherwise a fine use of old


knowledge .


Most of the lines are in perfect


heroic-line form, and the rhymes


fit.


Find a more natural vernacular to replace


the offensive outreach of the second line.
Reply:This is a fledgling poet's effort at imitative creation - striving but failing to make the sonnet form work for them; by virtue of not employing the techniques a sonneteer would use to their advantage. For example, allowing enjambment to create its own tension from line to line, nor imagery that takes life by the throat (to coin another poet). This poet is also feckless at handling imagery and juxtaposing sounds that catch the ear or the eye.