Saturday, May 15, 2010

What do you think of my poem?

Winter’s Breath











A pause . . .


A sweet note of spring


Awakened the birds


To the fresh seedbag


Hanging out on the tree limbs.


Forridging and fighting off


Perceived invaders, they began to build.





Fresh, tree buds appeared


Out of time and season,


Flowers, awakened from slumber, and


Stretched wide to a warm, welcomed sun.





An eager nature responded,


. . . Then Winter began to breathe again


And froze all such innocents


Who acted upon emotion


Instead of common sense.

What do you think of my poem?
It is very captivating, frought with metaphor. Title was a bit misleading until I had completed the first reading. Very vibrant would like to see some of your work inthe future. The ending kind of surprized me, good job. You should always use a dictionary when writing.Your poem did its job well It gave the reader a sense that he was in the beautiful picture that your words painted.
Reply:Negative.


It's "foraging."
Reply:It's alright I guess.





I'm into writing more songs than poetry, so I don't know what a good poem sounds like, but yours is cool.
Reply:CCCCOOOOLLLL, I can actually picture it as I read it


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